No More Letting Go

No More Letting Go has started a quiet revolution among family members grappling with addiction. Acclaimed by professionals and lay people alike, No More Letting Go presents a new and compelling strategy for dealing with alcoholism and drug addiction.


In short, highly accessible chapters written with warmth, understanding, and compassion, Debra Jay weaves together philosophical and religious thought; new science on the brain function of an addict; the physical and psychological impact of addiction on family members; and poignant, real-life family stories. No More Letting Go is a powerful, informative guide that provides comfort, hope, and practical advice to anyone affected by a family member’s addiction.


A powerful call to action…zero tolerance for untreated addiction. Debra Jay provides a clear, gentle and compassionate path based on love and respect.

Jerry Moe

National Director of Children's Programs, Betty Ford Center

A wonderful, compassionate, and hopeful book about one of modern life’s most baffling and powerful disorders: addiction.

Robert L. DuPont, M.D.

author of The Selfish Brain


An exciting, cutting-edge book that will inspire families to know and act from a place of courage and power — allowing them to step outside the shadow of addiction, reclaim their lives, and effectively intervene with their loved ones.

–Claudia Black, author of It Will Never Happen to Me



Passionate, original, and thought-provoking, No More Letting Go is a must-have book for families and friends of addicted people. This book will save lives.

Katherine Ketcham

coauthor of Beyond the Influence

Poignant and impactful, this scientifically-based book will bring healing and life to many families.

Barbara Krantz, M.D.

Medical Director, The Hanley Center

Debra Jay has written a landmark book about action. As in Love First, she emphasizes that alcoholics and drug addicts do not have to hit rock bottom before they can get sober. Action, she writes, is the key to unlocking the cycle of destruction, and those whose lives are out of control do not have to want help to get help.

Bringing a holistic approach to intervention and treatment, she shows how the minds, bodies, and spirits of alcoholics and drug addicts are intertwined and explores assumptions, emotions, thought processes, and physiological changes (particularly those of the brain). Written primarily for the families of drug and alcohol abusers, this logically arranged and poignantly written book is an essential part of any public library collection; with an extensive list of resources for treatment and recovery.

-Library Journal (starred review), Melody Ballard


Addiction counselors have typically assumed several things: recovery can occur only when the addict decides he or she needs help; this happens only when the addict hits “rock bottom”; until then, the addict’s loved ones should detach emotionally. But Jay, an intervention specialist and author of Love First, believes that untreated addiction is unacceptable because it wrecks families and destroys lives. She outlines a plan to help families get assistance for their addicted loved one without waiting for “rock bottom.” Intriguingly, Jay also casts the battle against addiction as a kind of spiritual war: she redefines detachment as “a spiritual quality that makes action possible,” and describes such action as an act of faith. A fascinating section entitled “What We Know Now,” details current genetic and neuroscientific research into people’s varying susceptibilities to addiction.

-Publishers Weekly


Purchase No More Letting Goat (Kindle, too!)


Purchase No More Letting Go from Hazelden.



 Read excerpts for No More Letting Go:

It takes a family

Hitting bottom: a family affair


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